Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
His hands were made for my vagina.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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