I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
My breasts were aching with rage.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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