I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
