dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I'm way too hungover for life right now
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize
