What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Randomize
