you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
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