His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
The struggles of a small town man whore
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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