apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
