That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I’m torn. She’s crazy - like legitimately “Wear your skin as a suit” crazy. But her blow jobs and dirty talk are Pornhub quality!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
