Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
Randomize
