When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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