LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
