Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
He gave me an ambien and I woke up with a raw chicken bone in my purse. I have no idea why but I hope I put it in his butt
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