is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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