Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Randomize
