he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
