I just saw a hot homeless man
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
