I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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