Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
