I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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