why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize