Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
