can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
