Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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