take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Dick very happy bro
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
