Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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