So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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