You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
