Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
