i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Randomize
