Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
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