ignore voicemail. the cock hath been unblocked.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Randomize
