Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
