The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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