I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
Randomize
