Dual....:-)
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
"Every minute you spend hanging out with David is a minute you could spend meeting someone new, who isn't a huge douche" - Buddha
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
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