so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
