would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Swear. I think after passing out in a community college parking lot I can safely nominate myself for the piece of shit of the year award
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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