Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
