i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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