as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
