do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
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