Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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