ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
Randomize
