you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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