your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Randomize
