Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Randomize
