Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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