its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I'm drunk enough to talk Barbara Walters outta her panties
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
