Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
