PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
