im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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