I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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