I hope mine doesn't look like that
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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